Sunday, May 2, 2010

Suzi: Apparently Joy Can Be Messy

Yesterday I got peed on, pooped on, and spit up on…all within 30 minutes.  The spit up got in my hair that I had just raced to wash while the baby slept.
I haven’t slept too much – those regular nightly feedings can be a killer.  And why is it that at 3 a.m., like clockwork, either an evil conspiracy of gas bubbles invades Cooper’s tummy or a wave of wakefulness falls on him that lasts for a full hour.  Why? What crazy person would willingly sign up for this madness? 
I did, and I’m enjoying just about every minute of it.
How?  How could lack of sleep, explosive bodily fluids and crying bring any sense of satisfaction or happiness?  Apparently joy can be messy.
Everyone says that children grow up too fast and that you should enjoy every minute you can.  So before Cooper was born, I decided I would do just that.  Now, when he’s wailing at the top of his lungs, and I have no idea why, I tell myself, “One day you’ll miss holding him in your arms.  Just keep singing; the crying won’t last forever.”  Or when he dirties the clean diaper before I even get it all the way on, I remind myself that one more diaper and a few more minutes really isn’t that big of a deal.
Have I had some moments of complete frustration?  Absolutely.  Have I shed a few tears?  Absolutely.  Do I know there will be much greater frustration and a lot more tears to come?  Without a doubt.
But in the meantime, I’m going to keep singing and talking to this little guy, rocking him and pacing the floor at 3 a.m. while thanking the Lord for this beautiful gift that came at just the right time in our lives.  And I’m going to keep loving being a mom.

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