For exhibit A, I offer up an ad for American Blue Tip Smokes. (Of course, anything named after the good ol' US of A is going to be worth your investment!)
To my smoker friends, please know I'm not trying to be vindictive here, but you must realize you're killing yourself. And when you read the paragraph labeled "The New Drag," it's no wonder.
"More than anything else, smoking used to be fun. Smoking used to provide a certain energy; create a certain buzz. The devastating effects of cigarettes have robbed smokers of all these benefits."
REALLY?!? You mean that back in the old days, cigarettes didn't give you cancer? They just turned you into a cool, suave cowpoke or a gorgeous socialite? But then came along all those dirty government regulations and cigarettes started being bad for you.
Blasted guv'ment. Always meddling in our business. Trying to tell us our fun is gonna make our lungs look like a coal miner's t-shirt. What do they know?
I guess with American Blue Tip Smokes you can get all that back.
Besides, Jake from Florida declares, "It's a better oral fixation!"
Freud would be so proud.